Tuesday, December 22, 2015

It's dumb to let anyone become better buds with you than your spouse. I'm talking about anyone other than God.

Be closest friends with the God of the Bible and then on the horizontal.. be best friends with your spouse.
If you are a husband with a non-believing wife, then be a really good husband by God’s power. Yes, let God help you be a good witness. Pray hard daily–PHD. 
If you are a believing wife with a non-believing husband, then be a godly woman, a decent witness. 
Perhaps you are not hitched, but wanting to one day be married. Cool. Start praying for your future spouse now. It’s a good habit to start. You know, be responsible. Apply yourself–apply the word in faith. That will speak volumes to your loved one. Even Christ had a challenging time reaching family members. He prayed and they believed. 
Remember.. here are four words..sets of four words.. that that can change your marriage: Whatever you say dear? I am really sorry. Will you forgive me? Here’s my credit card. Make me a sandwich (from a guy : ). “Husbands love your wives.” (four times in 8 verses God tells us guys to love our wives. How? Do it unselfishly like Christ loves His bride the Church). Do “happily ever after” relationships only exist in fairy tales? Nope. Holding on with patient expectation = HOPE!
 
Make your spouse your second best friend in the universe! No excuses. 
1. “Have fun together!  Don’t just do the work together, do the fun together too!  My brother and sister-in-law used to play in a volleyball league together for years while their girls were young.  It was a built-in date night, got them with other friends, and was something they both enjoyed!
2. Get excited about the things they get excited about!  If it isn’t necessarily your ‘cup of tea’, so what!  Try a sip!  You may just like it.  My husband has loved baseball since he was a small boy.  I never watched it much, and quite frankly didn’t think it was too interesting.  But after watching Ken Burn’s documentary on it, learning the roots in American history, hearing about some of the great players and asking LOTS of questions during games, I have learned to love it too!
3. Know their story, their weaknesses, their fears…and love them anyway.  Isn’t that what best friends are for?  Remember our theme verse this month, “A friend loves at all times…” (Proverbs 17:17).  I know I’m particularly hard to love in the mornings (and not very loving myself), but thank God my husband loves me anyway!
4. Make them feel good about themselves!  Would you call someone who only makes you feel worthless and insecure your friend?  Certainly not.  Affirm their best qualities.  Celebrate their wins!
5. Call out the best in them.  One of the blessings of a true best friend is that they can speak the truth to us when no one else will.  Hold each other accountable to be everything God called you both to be.
6. Extend grace and forgiveness.  Even the best of friends have a bad day, say a hurtful things, disappoint us in some way.  Offer the grace in those moments that you’d want in return.  My favorite radio pastor, James MacDonald, says “There are no enduring relationships without forgiveness.”  If you want a friendship that lasts, a marriage that endures, you must forgive both big and small.
7. (On the horizontal plane) Put them first!  Don’t let your spouse just be one of your friends.  Don’t just let your spouse be a best friend.  (after your relationship with God) Make them your most important friend!  Your relationship with your spouse should come before any other relationship in your life, short of your relationship with the Lord.” ~ DANIELLE
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