F4S: Ain’t just a date or some weekend fling.

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Ain’t just a date or some weekend fling.

That was my thought. Wanted to, and still want to be careful with the whole thing. Man, I’ve messed up stuff before. Needed and still need some help with it. 
First saw her at a Dallas Porn Protest that my roommate forced me to go to when I was headed to the gym that Saturday. He was actually hittin’ on a new girl there and I could only get in a few words on the side (it wasn’t really the purpose of the protest though). 
Yes, it started after that right near my college graduation date in ‘82. Had taken her out some times to some pro basketball game, the zoo etc, but was now ready to pop the question on Valentines Day evening.  
Didn’t have much money. Wasn’t sure how she’d respond. Found her ring in the World Trade Center at a wholesale price. My uber-simple proposal was delivered next to some flowering azalea bushes and a lake covered in city lights there in Colorado Park at night after a dinner date at the Anatole Hotel. Took a knee on the ground (seen it happen somewhere..) “Liney Renea will you marry me?” Her answered with a simple, yes, and then she leaped into my arms. We’d prayed together and only been dating for seven weeks. So we didn’t really want to call our parents some 900 and 1,500 miles away.. for like a month. Wanted them to know that we were in love but responsible. 
Hey, God totally invented marriage; it was all His idea. There is romance in the heart of the universe..in His heart. And guess what.. we just need to get back to the “original template,” that God said was good. God sees and hears all. I did then and.. always want Liney to love the Lord more than she loves me (sure, He is perfect and loves her more than I or any could..) and me also love Him more than her. That way He pours more love in. He gives us gobs of love for each other, more than we’d normally have apart from Him. Why not?.. with her or away at work.. I never want to sin and let either Him or her down. He will go with you where you go as well cuz He cares. 
If ya ever plan to.. I say.. don’t learn about marriage from Hollywood or the culture, for people are either not getting married or completely reinterpreting what marriage is according to whatever their flesh and friends feel it should be.
A healthy marriage is a result of two people involving themselves in doing what the Bible says, most importantly leaning on the God who invented marriage. That’s to be the spouse God has called each of us to be married to. Marriage is not merely finding the right hot person as much as it is being the right person red hot for the Lord and His will.
It’s about sayin’ bye bye to mom and dad and what also might look pretty good. The Bible says marriage is leaving – all other relationships – and cleaving, to hold on to one another. Here’s some good quotes on it…
1. “I have known many happy marriages, but never a compatible one. The whole aim of marriage is to fight through and survive the instant when incompatibility becomes unquestionable.” ―G. K. Chesterton 
2. “Love without truth is sentimentality; it supports and affirms us but keeps us in denial about our flaws. Truth without love is harshness; it gives us information but in such a way that we cannot really hear it.”  ―Timothy Keller 
3. “Only when marriage and family exist for God’s glory―and not to serve as replacement idols―are we able to truly love and be loved. Remember, neither your child nor your husband (or wife) should be who you worship, but instead who you worship with.” ―Mark Driscoll 
4. “Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment.” ―Gary Chapman 
5. “The happiness of married life depends upon making small sacrifices with readiness and cheerfulness.” ―John Selden 
6. “As God by creation made two of one, so again by marriage He made one of two.” ―Thomas Adam 
7. “There is no more lovely, friendly or charming relationship, communion or company, than a good marriage.”  ―Martin Luther 
8. “Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.” ―Zig Ziglar 
9. “Wherever you find marital failure, you will find a breakdown in real communication. Wherever you find marital success, you will find a good communication system.” ―Wayne Mack 
10. “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” ―Ruth Bell Graham 
“God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart” (Ecc.3:11).
Q: Perhaps you’ve prayed about it and need a plan, or some more ideas? Should two people stay married even though they discover some “irreconcilable differences?” Absolutely. My wife Liney is cute but I am not, she is punctual and I get distracted, she is all about cooking and a perfect house where I’m all about exploration outdoors. She and I have “irreconcilable differences” but no worries in the Son who loves us.