There is a lot to be said, but I will aim to keep this a simple edification-word. Nancy Anderson once wrote a great book titled "Avoiding The Greener Grass Syndrome" to help us young and old marrieds alike, avoid the typical pitfalls like lust, distraction,negelect and insensitivity. And yes she offers six suggestions to apply on how to build and protect your marriage. She speaks of HEDGES that can block out hurtful stuff saying..
Encourage—build up your spouse by focusing on positive qualities.
Date—celebrate your marriage with ongoing romance—playing, laughing together.
Guard—establish safeguards by setting clear boundaries.
Educate—study your mate and their needs to truly understand him or her.
Satisfy—meet each other’s needs—as many as you can.
The marriage bond that joins two hearts no power on earth can break
If they commit their lives to Christ and of His love partake. ~De Haan
Paul said, "Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun." ~Ecclesiastes 9:9
Q: So how are you and I doing—how is your marriage? Guys, are you and I will be doing our part.. to simply lay aside our own wants to put first things first in the family? Not always an easy task huh. May I ask you a question? Are you currently putting your spouse or children ahead of God, or own your work ahead of your spouse? Ladies, what are you putting ahead of your quiet time with Jesus—anything or anyone? Do your girlfriends or career or entertainment come ahead of smiply going to church, prayer time or maybe a midweek Bible study? How has God called you to be involved with His Church? What currently comes ahead of your husbands or should be placed before them? You got it—it's your relationship with Jesus Christ. Priorities are important when we want to live with peace and God's divine order. And our marriages are worth fighting for and the best place for us to start is on our knees ..today (see Matt. 6:33)!
If you show me an insecure wife, I’ll show you an unfaithful husband. If you show me a bitter wife, I’ll be able to (for the most part) show you a rude selfish husband.. a secure wife, then I’ll show you an obedient Christian husband... a growing Christian wife, then (for the most part) I’ll be able to show you an encouraging complimentary husband who examples Christ-like selfless love with right priorities.
Bottom-line; a wife typically reflects her husband in this world ..what he is like.. just like the moon the sun. At least both should be putting out light into the darkness like that. Yup, as we both ..both persons hitched.. in the marriage draw closer to God in His Son, we’ll indeed draw closer together and subsequently better reflect His light to the lost. Duh! He gives us His love for them.
It’s so simple, in Jesus when we both just repent, believe, are prayerful together, and we commit to walking in humility. Think about it! There are basically only two rules for Christian marriage that make this union work; love and submit. Husbands and wives can try and find all the religious loopholes they want to excuse themselvs or get around doing their duty, but God sees it all and will hold each one of us accountable. Do you want God’s blessing on your marital relationship and family ministry?
The Bible talks about us married folk, “submitting to one another in the fear of God. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word” (Eph. 5:21-26). Of course so many people hate that "S" word in that passage.. 'cause so many guys have misapplied it over the years even in Jesus' Name.. like some coldblooded dictators wanting what they want for themselves, but we all are to submit to authority if we want what's best for us. Don't get me wrong, I have seen many husbands who have applied God's love consistantly as well as seen wives living those verses out year after year. Being an effective witness in the home can take much prayer and years before the spouse is won to Christ. Keep up the Good work!
The Bible clearly says, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged” (Col. 3:16-21).
Do you know how to begin so you will have the strength to carry on? Ya gotta start in the One who invented marriage.. doing it His Way instead of your own!