Thursday, August 7, 2008

The Cash Cow Lies In Wait ...And With Pockets Filled Will Escape

Here's my free-verse satirical poem: "It was an afternoon just like any other--heat and humitity real strong to smother.


It was in a dry arid region and getting late ..."please pass the plate".. and it was during the summer of '08 ... in a place called Dallas where they hold high the wine chalice. Was it felt, was smelt? No, it was like a mink pelt as the followers were 'bout to melt, for they were located on the Bible-belt.


And the creature glistened as the people listened ..closely.. to this leader astute, now on the stool where she sat and counted the love-offering-lute.

Yes, it glowed, and the trumpets blowwwed as they arose to praise aloud ...as they bowed …it was just like that one that was made of gold earrings from the children of Israel that Mo had fed with the angel's bread!

With not much hypnosis and zero osteoporosis.. 'cause of Bessie's lactose-sis ... the Cash Cow hangs out, it creeps about, it bellows, it grunts on the ground, it slowly strolls in the pastures that're furtile and abound.

The Cash Cow has a white designer suit--BEAUTIFUL--just like "Reverend" Copeland's, but it's a bit more spottie ..and tawdry but not quite gaudy. And she has a body like all the sleek, smooth excellent cows of Ancient Ethiopia (on the mighty west side).


It has a countenance that won't bore ya and what appears like an aura. It's basically kin to that of Hinn, but with most sincere looking face ...like that of Jakes (except with horns and no wire rim glasses all dripping with sweat so glorious... so colorful from his preaching so laborious... so bright, so uptight but silhouetted by lime light). And through the decades it has grazed among those less fortunate, hoping it's sounds might stick…like a ravenous, insatiable bovine seeking whom it may lick. How S-I-C-K!


Cash Cow, Cass$$h CoOOow OWW!…from the Valley of the Shadow of Debt to the high-end mall on the north side of the tracks… to what what hangs on it's racks ..in the customized pet-wear boutiques in uptown "I AM filthy proud and rich, but I say that you could also become like me and SING wearing a diamond pinky RING… so dig in your pockets like you're diggin' a ditch (real deep). Cattle junkies, you better take heed for the Cash Cow, is comin' to getcha ..TO GET CHA 'til ya bleed…especially the elderlllly!


Why? 'Cuz you think it's SO wrong, so sacrilegious, it's superstitious ...to warn or discern as they sing their song when some play ping pong. "Hey, you can not touch those appointed and anointed; your finger is way too pointed!"


But who is accusing; what is your plea? Not me...even when they continue abusing, but soon we will see, it's Jesus who cares for the weak and neeeedy. Who bravily has checked? Who will protect? Shouldn't it be the real elect who stand up and correct?


The Cash Cow will not be rocked, socked or blocked …or subsequently mocked!

The Cash Cow's plannin' a coup that's out to cost you.... for she knows that she can chew …a cud that's bigger than you! Have you yet been licked, does her message now stick? Do you feel you deserve the best, as you're targeted and pressed? I've been there, but now I'd rather do what's best and enter His rest. Let's all avoid such a pest."

I know it's not the greatest poem, but it reminds me of what the Apostle Paul said, “Love…. does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects" (1 Cor. 13:4-7, niv).

Who will alert and protect the people from being ripped off in Jesus Name? Every time some paid professionals receive the offering, is this to be a thing "for show" so that others will know and go ..and do likewise? As the ministers pressure the people to come "running up front to throw the gift in the bucket ...Hurry, hurry, HURRY! Don't think, just act! You don't want to miss the blessing while God is moving" ...their peers feel uncomfortable, but they call it "an illustrative sermon"...but what is it even teaching? Didn't Christ tell us not to go pray long prayers in public or make a religious show of our giving to impress others or with our fasting?

Doesn't all that professional hype simply apply more constraint on those still seated ..when many are watching and wishing they could give more as well... just to please God, but it's hard when they're already pledged-out and can no longer afford to buy the blessing. Perhaps they've already purchased your overpriced product of lies with plastic? Should they give when their elaborately robed "bishop-wonderful" doesn't sacrifice or teach all the counsels of God ..or ever witness to a unbeliever in public? Hey, I'm sure it's not sin for everyone to drive the best new car or live in the mansion on the lake. And maybe
you've heard a voice tell you ...to do this or to give to climb out of your own stew, even though the rent is way past due? Whose voice was that?

What am I talking about? We just had thousands of church folk here in Dallas with a big Christian denomination "______ ______ of the world." That was part of their name.

And many of them were very
gracious people (I'm sure a percentage were real inside and hungry, but it is sad to see many being fleeced rather than fed by the worst of the worst). Many of the leaders wore impressive badges with pretty high octane titles on their suits (…hey, who am I to judge their hearts or duties.. that's how I really feel). So many bishops, reverends, prophets and apostles ....all meeting together to gain an "impartation" ..but the only person in the Bible that's called "reverend" is God ..besides, wasn't one of the requirements of "an apostle" in the early church this: the Christian had to have seen Jesus personally? Yup, but I guess in our day there are countless Word-faith blab-it-grab-it leaders who say they meet with a physical Jesus regularly ..who appears and sits Himself down in a chair to converse with them about faith as a force, and words as the container of the force ..face to face.

Anyways, did I tell you about all elaborate ministry robes--ankle length purple ones with gold trim, lots of priestly clerical collars, lots of poor church people that were out walking the streets late at night to find a McDonald's, because they couldn't afford to take a cab or go dine where their leaders were dining. Did I tell you about the gobs of TV preachers, preacher DVDs for sale ..right next to the Jesus pencil sharpeners and Christian mud flaps for trucks, the Bible bookmakers... hats, hats, more hats and Bible covers, expensive Christian paperback books and CDs, choir gowns, long stretch hummer limos waiting out front (with drivers telling me they'd make "three grand in a couple days")? Bleccch!


Did I tell you about the stylish cross and dove sub-hip hop styled jewelry-bling? It was ubiquitous, and their fancy formal clothing for sale (that was carefully designed with gold crosses embroidered onto the sides, but were priced from $800 to $1000 per "church suit" ..out on display for the people to buy, to dawn, and use to fit right in with their heroes). The racks and racks of righteous threads literally filled up a whole ballroom along side the children's Sunday school booklets for sale. Do you ever wonder why there are still people in our nation who never want to darken the doorway of a church building? Go figure. If Jesus returned today, do you think that He would feel like turning over some tables filled with plastic dove coffee cups and other cheep Jesus paraphernalia for sale? Hey, don't ever leave the Christian bubble to associate with non-Christians ...OR YOU MIGHT BE DEFILED!!!


The group actually hired professional "Christian fashion models" to walk around and guide potential buyers in the right direction… with glossy religious fliers to distribute … to promote their gaudy wares in multiple ballrooms turned showrooms and in the lobbies. Sales must be driven upwards! But why was it only the high powered preachers who drove away in their Benz, their limo or their respective Bentley luxury cars ..away to their multi million dollar mansions ...after the loud ranting, raving, frenzied meetings were winding down? A lot of times, the preachers will only receive cash for their high priced items or for a personal prayer of faith offered for an individual asking for supplication.


Should saints be all about everything that Jesus said we shouldn't be all about ("image," titles, position, offerings money, and expensive designer suits for both men and women)? Why are we, the Church, so prone to weirdness, so prone to scaring off those we want to win?--to getting all caught up with perishable junk that doesn't even look good when the Lord exampled for us what we should be about--"about our Father's business" in getting the Gospel out to the lost? Those "Christian merchants" told me that their paid clergy had to get these rags "to look professional as they did their ministerial work and that's why they were being sold at those prices." That sounds legit... but was it professional looking?


And wasn't it Jesus who said "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" (Matt. 6:19-21). We really need bona fide Bible teachers who live it, and if we'd just stop supporting these other guys, they'd go off the air and away from us ...to the betterment of our communities! We should never follow blind guideshypocritesand mimic them when the Bible warns us about this.


Do not... share in other people's sins. —1 Timothy 5:22


Any one of the Bible’s seven marks of false prophets is sufficient identification:

1.) With feigned words ..due to their selfish covetousness and arrogance.. they make merchandise of you ..and through rationalizations many justify themselves in their own minds, (they then, typically, make merchandisers of you for their sake). Where is the emphasis in your church placed upon? Gospel-greed is the number one mark of a false teacher. They lack godly character but use lots of spiritual terms. Most of what a false teacher teaches people is true (even in Christian churches--many mix in a little Bible truth with error), otherwise who would swallow the spiritual arsenic. Today this ministerial avarice is so prevalent in the pulpits and in the pews ''Give to get the hundredfold.. speak it into existence!" (see 2 Pet. 2:1-3);

2.) Their prophecies don't come to pass (Deut. 18:20-22);

3.) They contradict God's Word (Isa. 8:20);

4.) They bear bad fruit (Matt. 7:17-20);

5.) All men speak well of them (Lk. 6:26);

6.) They deny that Jesus, the one and only sinless Christ, has come once and for all in the flesh (1 Jn. 4:3).

7.) Through signs and wonders they lead people astray after false gods (Deut. 13:1-4).

When you're enticed by false teachers to give to get… or by others to join in and become a clone or to do other wrongs… just say no and tell them so …and then just go. The world's pleasures can have such an appeal--all the religiousity, the pride, the comparing, the glitter and bling... the sin, the cha ching.. it might appear like bargains real rare; but seldom do people clearly see the hidden costs and the ramifications that others must sadly bear. God aint religious or into what we can appear to be... Oh that I would flee all that is fake!

Oh, that my ways were directed to keep Your statutes! —Psalm 119:5


Paul's instructions to elders in first Timothy five, apply to pastors and all believers in Jesus Christ. When so many cultures of the world (including ours) are riddled with religious pride and gospel-greed, the apostle's command stands for us to take heed. Don't do it!--why "share in other people's sins" (v. 22). That's such a timely warning!


Jesus said, "Whoever desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me" (Mk. 8:34).

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Note: Gifts of the Spirit are still for the Church and biblical signs are still performed by Jesus in our day, and they follow the ministry of the Word to confirm it (see the last verse in Mark. When that which is Perfect (Christ) is come, the gifts will be no longer needed). I was talkin' with Steve Taylor at the Door a while back about this subject which he has excellently addressed and sung about ..so much better me, that's for sure.

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